Did you know that multitasking is really a bunch of bullshit? I mean, it sounds like a cool word but let’s be honest, our brains just aren’t wired like that. What they are wired to do, though, is time-share.

The reality is, our brains can only actively think about one task at a time. So you focus on one task, then another takes its place—just like vacationers occupying a time-share property. The shift is so fast that you may not even notice that you’re only doing one thing at once. You feel like you’re multitasking, but what you are actually doing is time-sharing.

Pretty cool right?

Well…yes and no.

With the false hope that we are capable of multitasking, we fill our days with an endless list of tasks, tricking ourselves into believing we are achieving it all. Truth is, though, we are really just half-assing all of them—never really putting 100% effort into any. I mean how can we? In order to do something 100%, we need to be 100% focused. And in this crazy world, who the hell has time for that?

I believe that this is especially true for women. We’ve been taught to think that we need to do it all and be awesome doing it.

Beside the obvious—being a mom, bonus mom, dog mom, and wife—most days, I am also a chef, taxi driver, ATM, teacher, referee, organizer, scheduler, therapist, house cleaner, friend, confidant, and sounding board. And did I mention that I have to do that all while running my business as a life coach and kick-ass real estate agent? Oh, and let’s not forget that I have to make sure I have to look completely put together while doing it all—hair, makeup, and maintaining the body I had in my 20s.

Are you f**king kidding me?

Sometimes I barely muster up enough energy to make it through the day! And you know what? That’s okay!

So, here’s my advice to you: stop giving a f**k what society thinks you should be doing and just do you. Take time for yourself—read a book, take a bath, go for a walk, meditate, or whatever fills your cup—or you will be of no help to anyone around you. The old saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is something that I have had to learn to follow or I will be on the edge of another nervous breakthrough! And you can, too. But it can only start when you stop time-sharing, and start giving 100%.

Cheers to another ass-kicking week and taking a break from time-sharing!

I’m back!!! How is everyone doing? I hope everyone is hanging in there—I know it has been a wild couple of months! Who knew 2020 would start off as a three-ring shit storm? Aside from the obvious pandemic pandemonium, there has been a lot of emotion and energy flowing, both positive and negative. Social media has been out of control, mainstream media is now only about 50% believable, and people have shown their true colors.

If you are anything like me, you may have realized that any crisis either brings out the best or the worst in people and, let me tell you, there are some of you that I would definitely want as my wingman going into battle. On the other hand, though, there are also some that if I never speak to them again…well, it will be too soon.

There is so much negativity, fear, and anger right now and it has gotten to the point where some people just shut down and internalize everything. This my friends, is a ticking time bomb for those with mental health issues.

Wired But Tired

Anyone who knows me, understands that I am a huge advocate for mental health. I have been on my own “awakening journey” for many years, but I can honestly say that 2010 is when shit really hit the fan. Back then, I really thought I had it all together—I had a beautiful family, a gorgeous house, a great career, a decent marriage, lots of friends, and money in the bank. On the outside, everything looked perfect. But on the inside—and I mean inside my heart, soul and mind—it was anything BUT perfect.

Have you ever heard the term “wired but tired?” It’s basically when you are running full speed ahead but burning the hell out of your adrenal glands. Your cortisol levels are at an all-time high which literally burns out your nervous system. I started waking up in the middle of the night short of breath with my heart racing out of my chest, but just chalked it up to nightmares. I later learned that these were panic attacks.

I had ringing in my ears, was severely irritable, and could not fall asleep. But, like many, I pushed on and chose to ignore all of these signs and symptoms that something was wrong. But, let me tell you something—the universe God, or whatever you want to call it, is only going to give you so many warning signals. And if you choose to ignore them, then they will take you down and they take you down hard.

The Take Down

I remember it like it was yesterday. I went to the gym in the morning like I did every day before and, as I was leaving, a guy backed into me. This was the moment everything changed.

The small accident triggered something in my body to send me into a downward spiral. I completely lost all control and started bawling like a baby. I cried all the way home, and when I got into the shower, I cried even more. That day, I cried harder than I had before in my life. It was as if years of tears, trauma, and emotion had all bubbled to the surface and were overflowing at rapid speed. And the only thing I could do was pull myself together just enough to make a call to my husband to ask him to take me to the doctor because I knew that something was very wrong.

Soul-Searching & Accepting Help

“Depression. Anxiety. Nervous Breakdown.” Those words rang in my ear. Say what? What the hell are you talking about? There is no way someone like me could have gone off the deep end. It must be a brain tumour, an autoimmune disease, an allergy to gluten—anything but a mental illness!

My doctor knew I was not ready to take his advice or the medication and he knew me well enough to know that I needed to do my own research and soul-searching to get the answers I needed. He wished me well and told me he was available at any time if I changed my mind. So off I went—paranoid, depressed, anxious, and determined to prove him wrong.

Here is the coles-notes version of that year:

I met every holistic practitioner known to mankind.

I met with shamans, priests, herbalists, and neurologists (because I swore it was a brain tumour causing this). 

I had live blood analysis and colonics (which I definitely do not recommend, lol).

I met mediums, had reiki, bodytalk, and numerous other body treatments.

I spent months locked in my house because I was afraid people were after me.

I couldn’t eat and had no appetite.

I had horrific hallucinations.

My nervous system was so screwed up that it hurt to hear.

I couldn’t cope with even the simplest of tasks.

I had family come stay with me because they were afraid for both my safety and that of my girls.

I had appointments with psychologists and psychiatrists.

I had the darkest, most horrific thoughts running through my head 24/7.

I almost swerved in front of a semi…over and over again.

It was like I was living in a bubble and everything was going on around me but voices were muffled—like I was watching my life from another person’s view.

I was messed right the hell up and it was scary.

One night, after about a year since my first trip to the doctor, I remember lying on the bathroom floor, crying and yelling hysterically at God to take away the pain. To please end this personal hell I was living in. I cried, I screamed and then something inside me told me that I had done all I could and it was time to start my life again. So, the next morning, I finally went back to my doctor. He smiled and asked, “Are you ready for me to help you now?” My answer? “YES!”

Lifting the Fog & Becoming Heather

About 3 months later, with the help of my friend Effexor, the fog slowly started to lift and everything started to clear. My emotions started to balance, sleep came back, and so did my appetite. But I knew that in order to truly “come out on the other side,” I still needed to do some major soul-searching, as I still felt like I was keeping something buried.

For my 12th grade graduation, my Dad gave me a bracelet, and inscribed on the back of it was, “Always be true to yourself.” I knew that in order to be my truest, most authentic self, I needed to make some changes. So, I used all the tools I had learned throughout the past year to meditate and really challenge myself to be Heather.

I ended my marriage of 13 years, I got rid of many so-called “friends”, I changed careers, and I confronted family and friends who had hurt me, either making peace or severing ties.

I started to tap into my intuition and not just follow the masses. I started to study energy and subconscious work, and I learned to protect my energy and delete the energy vampires from my life.

Fast forward to 9 years later, I am married to an amazing man who loves me for who I am, not what he wants me to be. I am part of a wonderfully chaotic blended family that I absolutely love. I have a successful career as a Saskatoon real estate agent and many new adventures coming my way.

I live a life with zero tolerance for bullshit, fake people, liars, and energy vampires. I speak my truth, which might piss some people off, but we were not put on this earth to please everyone. I speak open and honestly about my “mental breakthrough” to my kids, friends, family, and strangers. Not everyone likes me and I am okay with that because I don’t like everyone. I know how to manage stress, how to cope with adversity, and how to protect my energy. Every day I take time to meditate, be grateful, exercise, read, and learn. And sure, there are some days I feel nuttier than squirrel shit, but that is okay.

I am thankful for 2010 because it was both the worst and best year of my life. I am thankful for everyone I met on my journey, as you each helped me in your own way and I am forever grateful. My life has been changed for the better.

So you see, mental illness can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. I am thankful everyday that even in my darkest hours—and there were many—that I had my 2 beautiful daughters who gave me a glimmer of hope that I could get my quality of life back.

Everyone has a story and it’s okay to have shitty days. But always remember that with darkness, there comes light, and there is always hope. Be who YOU are, not who the world wants you to be! You can only pretend for so long!

Speak your truth, honour your soul, and keep kicking ass!

xo

Heather

These past 2 weeks, I lived in sweatpants, zero makeup, with my hair pulled back! I ate more calories in a week than I normally do all year.

I stayed up super late and slept in daily. I attempted home workouts but was easily distracted by my dog. The kids and I binge-watched Netflix and cuddled on the couch! We played in the backyard until the sun went down. I deactivated Facebook because I couldn’t handle the steady stream of doom and gloom. My “normal life schedule” of selling houses from sun up to sun down was gone.

Is this my way of dealing with stress? If it is, then I’m going to come out of this self-isolation 25 pounds heavier!

In all seriousness, though, it’s scary to see how easily we get caught up in everyday life and downright terrifying that it took an entire pandemic to slow us the fuck down.

Slowing Down & Taking Stock

How many of us run so hard and so fast for so long that we are exhausted? How many of us carry the weight of the world on our shoulders? When the “go, go, go” of your normal life abruptly stops and the reality of today’s world steps in, it is bound to have an effect on you. You are most likely going to feel totally overwhelmed.  It’s totally normal and it’s totally okay!

The funny thing is that so many people spent so much time wishing for this every day! They wished that the world would slow down and that they would have more time to spend at home with their kids. They wished that they didn’t have to work as much and could meditate way more. But isn’t it strange that now that this day has finally arrived, no one seems to want it anymore?

Now, maybe this isn’t how we exactly imagined it would play out, but it looks like the universe dealt us these cards so we better play them to the best of our ability!

Social Distancing Together

As social human beings, this whole “social distancing” thing is a difficult concept for us to grasp and, for many, it can be a very lonely and frightening time. But while we may be physically apart, this is actually the perfect time to connect with old friends and catch up!

This time, there are no excuses. I can guarantee that you are not too busy running the kids around or running errands anymore, and we’re extremely lucky to be living in an age where technology provides us with everything we need to be “face-to-face” in real time. So let’s start the trend #NoExcuses and rekindle those human connections!

Treating Yourself & Supporting Local

Take some time to think about what you need to do to make you happy right now. Right now, it’s okay to #TreatYourself and enjoy the little moments we usually take for granted! The only thing I ask is that you consider #SupportingLocal when you do. Do some research on local businesses. You will be amazed by the amount of talent in our city. Whether you need made-to-go meals or health and beauty products, I promise you that there’s a business in Saskatoon right now that can fulfill your needs while also helping to support our local economy.

But treating yourself doesn’t have to be limited to just spending money either. Sleep all day if you want! Chat on the phone with a friend. Eat the cake. Turn off the news. Go for a walk. Work out (or don’t)! Hide in the pantry and eat chips (I find this one particularly therapeutic). Clean out those closets. Play games with the kids. Cuddle with your dog because they’re having the time of their life right now!

No guilt. No regrets. Do what you need to and when you’re ready, then you can pull yourself together and kick some ass! Take this time now to work on yourself and take inventory of how you are doing while you have the time. And when that time runs out, you will be a stronger version of yourself that is ready to take on the world!

Remember: This, too, shall pass. Do your best to K.I.P. (keep it positive) because the last thing you, your kids, spouse, family, or friends need right now is more negativity.

Today: workout.

Tomorrow: I’ll eat the cake!

Yours in Positivity,

Heather